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View Full Version : [Inter-Area] Dol Amroth Potato Armada: The Fight For Fry-dom!



Morwen Daegomir
31/Mar/2016, 09:54 PM
Welcome to...
The Potato Armada

http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg120/pythonite22/622bc61c-5627-4ebe-b362-33ed1064830f_zpsiibgb2br.png

It is here.
At last, the moment you have all been waiting for.

Minions & Freeps, the time has come for the ultimate showdown.
Just off the coasts of Belfalas, the fleets await. One for good, and one for evil.
Take your place alongside your comrades and prove, once and for all, who truly dominates the lands of Middle Earth.
A battle of potato-flinging and insults, hurled from ships decks and across the great seas.

El Capitán will be viewing the battle from the deck of his own magnificent ship, keeping score of the proceedings and hurling the occasional starchy projectile.


How it works:
This is a light-hearted roleplay.
Play one of your Middle Earth characters, and stay in character, but don't be too worried about character development or what Arnyn likes to call "real-deal RP".

You will RP your character on the various ships in your respective fleets, hurling potatoes and creative insults at one another with a general lack of decorum.
I will post an update once per day, for the 7 days of the contest. You may post as many times as you like between updates, but no double-posts.

Potato Points Scoring:
You will get a score based on the following:
1. Random die roll (1-6 -- only one per round)
1. Creativity Score (1-5 per post, based on craziness, creativity, puns, originality, humour, etc.)

Potato Points will be kept updated HERE (http://www.lotrplaza.com/showthread.php?78708-Potato-Points&p=652604#post652604), in the SL Potato Points thread.
(This covers all the Potato Points you gather from all 3 areas- Umbar, Ithilien, and Dol Amroth together)


You will use a Potato Icon at the top of each post.
Some will bear a red-edged icon for evil (Bad Potatoes).
Others will bear a blue-edged icon for good (Good Taters).
Initially, we wanted to have minions be goodies, and the free peoples be baddies, but it might cause an imbalance... so we're going to try and have some 'reversed roles', but will balance the teams out in the end.
So some baddies might get to play baddies, and some goodies will get to play goodies, after all. ;)


Everyone begins as a sprout (Rank I)
There are a variety of ranks – which will be PM’d to you secretly when you reach the next point total tier.

First Rank Icons:
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpg http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20red%201%20a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
(Rank I: Sprout)

Sign up by posting in the main SL forum “Potato Points” thread HERE (http://www.lotrplaza.com/showthread.php?78708-Potato-Points), so we can add you to the list.

At the end of all 3 activites, there will be an individual winner as well as an overall team winner,
so make sure you post with your correctly coloured icons so points can be correctly allotted.


Potato Rules
Post your Potato Rank title and icon at the top of each post
No double-posts, but you may post as many times as you like between prompts (more points!)
No OOC or spamming
Have fun and make great potato puns!

Questions are welcome in the Potato Points Thread (http://www.lotrplaza.com/showthread.php?78708-Potato-Points) (main SL forum)

Fairy Nuff
01/Apr/2016, 07:57 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20120red20120a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Wizardess Starbreeze - Sprout

"Aaaaaaaaaaaargh". Starbreeze drew out the vowels as long as possible. She wasn't sure why but she felt this was more fitting to a sea-faring wizard. She took another deep breath of sea air, and pondered whether any other wizards had taken to the sea. She stood on the starboard bow, looking out at the waves lapping at the wooden hull of her vessel. She surveyed the rows of catapults lined up on the decks. She didn't plan on getting her hands dirty herself (and hadn't found anyone to wash the potatoes for her) but she intended to be a kind of common-tater (ba-da-bun-tshhh) for the events as they developed.

It was a shame she got slightly sea-sick really. She took another swig of ginger beer from a flask hanging from her belt and gripped the rail a little tighter as the ship swayed. It was safe to say she wasn't peeling her best, but she was sure that once things got going the excitement and adrenaline would overcome the worst of it.

Tarawen
02/Apr/2016, 06:00 AM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20120red20120a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Regdush - Sprout

"Raghaslghabboblubllbulb!" Regdush roared. The orc was underwater, attempting to scale the side of a ship from beneath with one of his arms tied behind his back. Just because. He was running out of air, though. He could see the sun - curse it's ugly, stupid face - above the water, so he knew he must be close. He gave a mighty kick of his legs and grabbed for the nearest plank of the ship he could with his long fingers that tapered into sharp nails. He wasn't an orc to admit it, but he filed his nails from time to time to get that nice, vicious pointiness that only a good nail peeler could achieve.

With a heave, he hoisted himself above water and gasped for air. He felt rather like some kind of root vegetable being plucked from the ground. Except he was an orc pushing himself up out of the water, so never mind. He was wrong to compare himself to a garden-variety potato. His (Gunda)bad.

Having emerged from the waters, he continued to climb (his poor nails! He'd file them back to proper shape later...) the side of the boat, finally pulling himself onto the deck of the ship. "Pbhleahhhh," was the only sound he could make as he expelled water and a large fish from his mouth. "Rarrrghh, avast and SKIN me alive!" he cried, his full speaking capacities returned to him. "A pile o' tubers!" Ripping the rope from the arm that was tied behind his back, he gleefully hurried over to the pile of potatoes. After furtively looking around to check that the coast was clear, Reg proceeded to pick up a few of the knobbly things and juggle them a few times before catching them all in his mouth and swallowing them one by one.

"Who's the dic-tater 'round these parts?" he yelled, to no one in particular. Across the bay on another ship, he spied a familiar-looking wizardess (Starbreeze) swigging something. "You a part o' the battle I sense brewin'?" he shouted. "Or would ye have us all hesi-tater afore a fight?"

Pele Alarion
02/Apr/2016, 03:18 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpg

Aidan - Sprout

A rather lanky fourteen-year-old stood on one of the ships, his dark shoulder-length hair sticking every which way as if he had just gotten out of bed, and his grey eyes looked intently at the other ships all around. His arms crossed, he stood, awaiting for a signal to start on some mischief, or at least he had assumed it was all about mischief.

It had to be said that Aidan felt proud even being on one of these, as the best vessel he had been on was a usual fishing boat. But hey, which boy would not use an opportunity to get on a real ship! In fact, he had taken his time to explore all of the ins and outs of the ship, and ended up being chased away from some places where he did not belong (the cook was especially dissatisfied and had brandished a big wooden spoon to punish the lad for intrusion).

Now, he had taken note of the heaps of potatoes on board, so he eventually proceeded to go to one of those heaps and load the pockets of his baggy trousers with round and smooth taters that sat well in the palm of his hand. However, now Aidan ended up with a new problem - his trouser-pockets were rather spacious, and all those taters in there began to drag his trousers down and he was forced to tie the rope that served as belt much tighter.

Picking up one more potato, he played with it, as he stared across at not-so-pretty creature (Regdush) on a nearby ship. Not wanting to start a fight before due time, he hollered across to him, "Hey you! Wanna find out what lads like me practice in Dol Amroth?" By that he meant target practice of throwing rocks, of course. However, taters were not rocks, but he was sure that his aim would be true with these as well.

Fairy Nuff
02/Apr/2016, 04:15 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20120red20120a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Wizardess Starbreeze - Sprout

With the ginger beer calming her swaying stomach somewhat for the moment, Starbreeze took a moment to look out across the bay, only to see an orcish figure (Regdush) eating the ammunition on of the other ships in the fleet. She frowned, pondering for a moment as to how the orc had got on board as there was no gang-plank leading to that ship, then realised the real matter of urgency was to stop him from eating all the potatoes. She glared over at him, squinting in the sunlight. He appeared to be talking...she wasn't sure whether it was aimed at her or not.

"'Aloo? 'Aloo?" She called. "I can't hear you...do I know you? Oh hang on." She ran along the ship to the point on her ship that was nearest to the orc's ship to hear what he said. Steadying herself again she replied "Quite the opposite, I expect to be the agi-tater! I'm keen for a mash up myself, and I hope you'll join me, but if nothing else, stop chipping away at our ammunition!" She cried, pointing at the pile of potatoes. She squinted at the orc, thinking that he did look rather familiar, but then there were so very many orcs around these days...

Bandar
02/Apr/2016, 04:36 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpgUgmoon, the orc chief

Ugmoon walked aboard the ship. He had always wanted to be in the navy. Once, when he was a boy, he had gone on the Sea of Nurn and there they caught The Great Osseous Fish. Anyways he walked aboard and grabbed a bag of potatoes and hurled it over. Then he saw the potato launcher. He filled it with potatoes and they shot across to the other fleet. Even though he was an orc, he was a relatively calm orc. So, that's why he went good!

"Ha ha! Laddys! Look at all them tater traitors!!" He continued to fire more potatoes across. Ugmoon then punted a potato across the water. This he thought worked just fine!

Tarawen
02/Apr/2016, 05:41 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20120red20120a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Regdush - Sprout

"I love a good agi-tater!" Reg shouted back to the wizardess. "What'd life be without 'em, eh?" He now noticed that she was now gesturing towards the taters piled high on his ship's deck. He couldn't quite hear her last words - all he heard was "ammunition."

"Eye!" he shouted. "Ammunition for the likes o' that scum!" For another orc - on the other side - had begun to fling tubers their way with some sort of contraption. "Better not be such a spec-tater of battle with these tricks and eating," he snarled to himself. "It's time for action!!"

He picked up a large one with many eyes, tossed it into the air, and punted it with all his might across the bay toward the other fleet. "Take that, ya twice-baked ninnies!" He punted several more with vigor, then decided it might be fun to climb the mast of the ship and hurl some hash from above.

Sil
02/Apr/2016, 07:30 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpg
Silarien, the happy little elf-sprout

Silarien was a stupid little elf sprout, who had meant to QUOTE her last post to keep the colour formatting and icon, and had instead EDITED it, accidentally disappearing her first magnificent war cry which included a great potato song. She had made a pun about mashing and chips, and a lovely song that had rhymed Spud with Blood... but it was impossible for her to recreate it. This was a true tragedy and Silarien had a good cry, wiping away the tears from her eyes​with a handy potato skin...

Fairy Nuff
02/Apr/2016, 08:03 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20120red20120a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Starbreeze - Sprout

Despite the wind snatching the words from her ears Starbreeze realised that she and Regdush were in agreement. However, her queasiness quickly turned to anger when she realised that someone was pelting spuds in their direction. Regdush was already acting to retaliate, and Starbreeze scrambled into action, racing towards the catapults. "We'd better not make a hash of this" she thought aloud as she crossed the deck and loaded a handful of large spuds into a catapult. "Lets not be hot(potato)heads, and make sure we do this properly" she muttered as she steadied the cradle and took careful aim at Aidan's ship. "Oh, but let's remember, you can't stop at just one potato ship" she grinned as she hastily reloaded the catapult and prepared to take aim again.

As she manoeuvred the catapult into a steady aim Starbreeze briefly pondered how she would defend the ship. It was all very well throwing potatoes at everyone else, but what happened when the potatoes were aimed, inevitably, at her ship?

Morwen Daegomir
03/Apr/2016, 01:21 AM
El Capitán, Commodore of the Great Potato Armada

El Capitán swept forward to the bow of the ship, swirling his rich teal cloak about him as he did so, and admiring the silver embroidery worked along the edges. He pulled a brass looking glass from one of the many deep pockets of his silver buttoned coat, and focused it toward the fleets now meeting in battle before him. Ah, what a glorious day! He thought. At last, a great sea battle. And with potatoes, no less! He was prepared to be entertained.

He peered through the looking glass, squeezing his left eye shut, and squinting his right eye, then blinking furiously as he found he could see nothing through it. Pulling it away from his eye (and not noticing the black ring it left-- his first mate loved to play tricks, and had clearly stolen his looking glass again, coating it with the blackened ash of many burnt potatoes), he glanced down, only to see there was a potato lodged on the end of it.

"Avast!" He burst out angrily, and to no one in particular. "If I find the perpe-tater, I'll roast him!"

Dislodging the potato, he turned his attention back on the battle, which was now in full swing. Starchy missiles were being lobbed with ferocity, and the puns received no less vigor. What excitement! What panache! He swept his great hat from his head, flourishing it to the skies, it's beautiful white plumed feather waving in the wind.

"BRING OUT THE POTATO CANNONS!" Originally, he had intended to merely spectate, enjoying a good sea battle happening in his waters, but it was too much to resist. He would lob projectiles at anything that moved! For Chaos! For Valor! FOR POTATOES!

The cannons were swiftly loaded, and he eyed the deckhands, who had to stifle grins (and one who had to stuff a first in his mouth to prevent laughter from bursting out) at seeing their Commodore's beringed right eye. The man himself assumed they were merely as excited as he, and took no notice.

"FIRE!" He exploded, drawing his curved sword and brandishing it to the sky.




Potato Points Update!
(From now on, please bold your puns like Sil did. It will help me make sure to catch them all!)


Fairy Nuff
Post 1: 10 (+2 bonus pun points) [12]
Post 2: 4 (+2 bonus pun points) [6]
Post 3: 5 (+3 bonus pun points) [8]
Total this round: 26


Tarawen
Post 1: 8 (+3 bonus pun points) [11]
Post 2: 4 (+2 bonus pun points) [6]
Total this round: 17

Pele
Post 1: 7
Total this round: 7

King
Post 1: 6
Total this round: 6

Sil
Post 1: 6 (+2 bonus pun points, +2 for the song :lol:) [10]
Total this round: 10


These are brilliant! Keep 'em coming!


ROUND II
NOW BEGINS!

Sil
03/Apr/2016, 11:06 AM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpg
Silarien, the happy little elf-sprout

Silarien couldn't believe it. Potato cannons?! Potato catapults? That was no way to respect the mighty spud. Instead, the victory would be won by...by... Okay, by lobbing potatoes at the enemy, there was no other way, really. Or was there? Her mind raced as she stared about at the potato plants in various pots about the shop, waving their happy selves at her. Hmmph.

"No time to write a dissertatertion on this," she decided, absently stroking a potato in her lap. Soon...when she -had- finished her Papers On Taters, and had discovered how to sufficiently modify them enough to the point of proper sentience...soon...

"We will root them out of their complacency soon enough," Silarien snarled, "and peel them out of their skins and butter them with our buttering ram!"

The ship's ram was, of course, a giant potato. Even though the team had argued that a pointy carrot would work better, Silarien had insisted...

"Ramming speed!" she shrieked. "Cry havoc, and let peel the spuds of war!"

Pele Alarion
03/Apr/2016, 12:26 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpg

Aidan - Sprout

He should have started first! For now his boasts were empty and not appeeling in the least; in fact, he was rather ignored, except... for that barrage of taters coming his way from Starbreeze's catapult. He ducked, but some of the potatoes still came down on his back. It surely hurt his boyish pride, and he rose to stand tall again.

"Extaterminate you all!" he yelled, and grabbed some projectiles from his pockets. To have a better reach, he scrambled on top of a stack of barrels and proceeded to throw the taters at everyone he could see that were not to be considered his own team. A great aim or not, but some of the taters landed in water - his reach was too short.

And if that was not enough, the tower of barrels underneath him became unsteady as the ship turned sharply.

"Ooooi!" he cried, his arms swinging around wildly as he tried to balance himself. But again, too late! The barrels toppled, and kicking and screaming the lad was spilled over the side of the ship and into the tater-filled waves beneath.

Sil
03/Apr/2016, 01:43 PM
]http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpg
Silarien, the happy little elf-sprout rescuing Aidan!

Disastater had struck! "Sprout overboard! Sprout overboard!" she screamed as she saw Aidan topple into the choppy waves. Completely agitatered at this Silarien grabbed a potato...vine (potatoes have vines, right? Stems?) and flung one end out to Aidan. "Grab hold afore you're potato soup" she instructed him, fastening the other end to the railing so Aidan would be able to climb back aboard.

Heroics complete Silarien returned to insulting the opposing forces with a vengeance.

"Your mama was forced to live off rice and quinoa for a whole year because the quality of your potatoes was so low! When she serves a roast dinner, she has to roast...uh...beetroot instead! All your potatoes are so rotten, they come out of the ground pre mashed!!!"

She brandished an egg whisk, which she had mistaken for the potato masher. That's what happens when you don't eat carrots like your mama told you to improve your vision, but live on a potato-only diet. It's the new Atkins.

Tarawen
03/Apr/2016, 02:14 PM
http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w57/Arnyn/rank2red_zpsmdnxsvwh.jpg
Regdush

The wizardess (Starbreeze) on the other ship was frantically catapulting spuds towards the enemy, and Reg had just made it to the top of the mast, so he had a clear vision of the bay and the battle being joined. El Capitán had decided to be more than a mere spec-tater and demanded fire - though on whom he was firing, Reg wasn't sure.

He hurriedly hurled the taters he'd brought at the nearest blue-outlined ships, watching his taters sail like little spudniks towards the enemy's flotortilla (http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/tortilla-espanola-102944). He watched with mirth as a young sprout from the enemy toppled into the sea. His supply of missiles spent, Reg hurriedly descended to the deck, where he tot-tered for a moment as the sea swelled beneath the ship. He ran to the helm of his ship, having failed to identify the dic-tater of the vessel. "Ahoy!" he shouted to Starbreeze, "There's a latke of fire comin' down on us! It's time for an offensive!" And with that, he adjusted the sails and steered head-on for the nearest blueish good-guy ship.

Ta'leus Shieldsong
03/Apr/2016, 02:21 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20blue%201%20a_zpsp4nfhh1l.jpg
Gilhend - Sprout

The great battle was raging, potatoes being thrown and insults hurled between the two fleets. His comrades seemed to be fairing both good and bad and he himself was absolutely at a loss of what to say to their enemies. Grabbing his bow on which he had attached explosive potatoes to the end of (an invention he titled mashed potarrows), he began to fire wildly towards their enemies. Hurling insults at them he ran back and forth on the deck, relishing in the ensuing chaos.

"Your wills are weak and floppy, like the crinkle cut mistakes of a lazy lunch lady! You rotten gravy-laden, poorly mashed, not evenly buttered fools!" As the battle raged he watched his fellow soldiers fight and commentatered on their actions when he saw them."Spud-tacular insult Silarien! Looking like a spud-muffin Aidan!" Just as he said that he saw Aidan topple overboard, but thankfully Silarien rushed to his rescue, allowing Gilhend ​to keep fighting.

Fairy Nuff
03/Apr/2016, 08:24 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank2red_zpsmdnxsvwh.jpg
Starbreeze - Spud

With glee Starbreeze watched as her first rain of missiles pelted Aidan, and then laughed when shortly after he fell into the water. "Haha, take that!" she yelled, and did the Monster Mash dance to celebrate. Glancing over to Regdush's ship Starbreeze saw that he had begun to steer straight into the action. What a s-mashing idea!

Mind you, she would make a half-baked attempt at it herself for she was fairly sure her ship was too large to sail single handedly. "I'll worry about that tater" she muttered to herself not wishing to be a hesitater. She ran round the ship pulling on ropes and adjusting things until the wind began to fill the sails and she realised she should probably steer. "Chips ahoy" she cried as she leant on the rudder, rooting for some strength to make the ship turn, before running off again and seizing a rope so she could hold the mainsail steady.

Taken by a moment of inspiration she began to sing a sea shanty as she hauled on the rope.

What shall we do with a mouldy tater?
What shall we do with a mouldy tater?
What shall we do with a mouldy tater?
Early in the morning?
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Early in the morning

Beat him into mash with milk and butter!
Beat him into mash with milk and butter!
Beat him into mash with milk and butter!
And add him to a pie!
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Add him to a pie-o!

Feed him to your foes and watch them heave-o!
Feed him to your foes and watch them heave-o!
Feed him to your foes and watch them heave-o!
Don't forget the gravy!
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Don't forget the gravy!

The rhythm of the song helped her keep the ship steady as she followed Regdush into battle, her queasiness forgotten. In fact, it was likely the sounds of her mouldy tater song might just make the enemy queasy!

Morwen Daegomir
04/Apr/2016, 07:13 AM
ROUND II:
The potato cannons of El Capitán have been fired, and giant explosions of mashed potatoes are raining down from above
(on both sides). Not only that, but it seems there was gravy with them.
The combined mass of the potatoes and gravy is so intense that it's beginning to sink your ships before the battle can even begin!

What will you do? Fire it at your enemy? Take a nap in the comfy softness of mashed potato fluff?
Consume it and thus rid yourself of the danger?

ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE!


Potato Points Update!



Sil

Post 1: 6 (+4 bonus pun points BUTTERING RAM BWAHAHA) [7]
Post 2: 5 (+2 pun points and bonus +2 for beginning the insults with a yo mama joke) [9]


Total this round: 16




Pele
Post 1: 6 (+2 bonus pun points) [8]

Total this round: 8

Tarawen
Post 1: 9 (+5 bonus pun points) [14]
Total this round: 14

Ta'leus Shieldsong
Post 1: 6 (+4 bonus pun points, +2 for crinkle cut mistakes of lunch ladies :rofl:) [12]
Total for this round: 12


Fairy Nuff
Post 1: 10 (+7 bonus pun points, +3 for a perfectly hilarious rendition of one of my favourite songs) [20]
Total this round: 20





ROUND III
BEGINS NOW!

Fairy Nuff
04/Apr/2016, 12:57 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%204%20red%204_zpsk4xgfwbc.jpg
Starbreeze - Mashed Potato

Drawing near to the blue potato ships, Starbreeze let the air fall out of the sails and the ship slowed. She peered overboard, the sea foam lapping at the hull looked as white and creamy as a bowl of mashed potato, churned up by the tuberlancefrom thepassage of the ship. Satisfied that she would only drift a little she felt relieved that, even though she was the only person on the rosti, she had handled the ship well enough and not sunk it yet! She headed to the ammunition pile and was alarmed to see that her stash had rolled around everywhere. "Eye'm gonna roast whichever half-baked fool forgot to secure the taters" She yelled. The ship moved in the swell of the sea and the wizard tottered unsteadily as more potatoes broke free from the store.

Angrily she rooted around the deck for ammunition and, despite her intention not to get her hands dirty, she grabbed the spuds and lobbed them out over the side of the ship, not even bothering to aim, just in the general direction of the blue ships. "Ye butter-livered, wedge-heads!" She cried "I shall fight to the end for my fry-dom!" More potatoes followed the insults. "I yam the queen of the spuds!" Her face was red and her eyes wild as she flung the potatoes at the enemy.

Sil
04/Apr/2016, 03:01 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%203%20blue%203_zpstvfjuhjb.jpg

Silarien, a happy little baked potato

The potato cannons had sounded with a tuberific roar and before long, great lumps of mashed potato began smashing into the ship. Who would save their skins now?

Without hesitatering Silarien rushed spuddily over, grabbing a chip pan to bail out the gravy which was loading them down. "Come on Aidan," she yelled, "you'd best ketchup with what is going on or we will be in gravy danger!"

She ducked as a red-faced and angry wizard proclaimed herself to be queen of the spuds. "Not likely," sneered Silarien; "come over here if you're so patatas bravas because you look more than a withered stem!"

Queen Nerwen
04/Apr/2016, 07:37 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20red%201%20a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Rank I: Sprout

A Baked Dwarfie.

"Raaaaaaaaaargghhhhh" had been Nerwen's battle cry for as long as she'd be able to run around with an axe. However, dwarf army school does not prepare you to scream with a mouthful of mash. It was much more of a "Fwwwwwwwmmm" noise to be perfectly honest. Aboard the red boat, chaos ensued. The swell and roll of mash on mash turned the boat around and about. Heavy, solid potatoes were being flung without any accuracy and gravy was getting in her beard. She grabbed an oar and began flicking wedges of mash over board. She did care where they smashed so long as the stuff was out the boar and nearer the enemy!

Ta'leus Shieldsong
04/Apr/2016, 08:17 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%202%20blue%202%20a_zps9ldisypo.jpg
Gilhend - Spud

El Capitan's ship had fired their massive cannons, and suddenly a tatorrential storm of gravy and mashed potatoes rained down upon the decks of his ship. "Look up!" He shouted, "Look up! The skies are pouring gravy! Delicious, delicious gravy!" He wasn't quite sure what to do, so he flopped down onto the deck and started making a gravy angel, or as the experts called it, a gravangel. Rolling around in the delicious and fluffy potatoes and gravy he hollered at his fellow combatants...

"Oh! Deck the decks with lots of gravy!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Smack our foes with mashed potatys!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Punch them down with uncooked taters!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Make them flee, we'll see you laters!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!"

Fairy Nuff
04/Apr/2016, 09:36 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20420red204_zpsk4xgfwbc.jpg
Starbreeze - Mashed Potato

Continuing her angry tirade Starbreeze continued to hurl both potatoes and threats/insults at the opposing ships. "I'll skin you all alive" she cried, wedging herself against the capstan. "I'll mash your heads into croquettes and your mothers will never again see your smiley faces!" Perhaps she was losing the plot a little now, or maybe the ginger beer had gone to her head.

The sky darkened with fluffy mash and gravy but Starbreeze didn't care any more, she was so far gone from the straight-cut wizard she once was. Closing her eyes she turned her face up the the sky and opened her mouth wide, gulping down the divine manna. When she realised that not only was this a gloriously tasty way to die, it was also free ammunition. Grabbing up a bucket she began scooping the mash from the decks where, she had to be honest, it was not only wasted, but also weighing down the ship somewhat, and ladling it into the catapults, which she then lined up to face the blue chips. Grinning maniacally she rigged the weights so a single pull on the rope would launch all the catapults at once - thereby unburdening her own ship and attacking the others. This, truly, was the face that sunk a thousand chips. Maybe a slight exaggeration, the fleet wasn't that big

Sil
04/Apr/2016, 09:36 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%203%20blue%203_zpstvfjuhjb.jpg

Silarien, a happy little baked potato elf

Time for an old classic song, thought Silarien.

I was working in the ship, late one night
When my eyes beheld a tasty sight
For my taters from the pot began to rise
And sudden mash fell from the skies!

[CHORUS]
It was the mash! (it was potato mash)
Potato mash! (it was a shipyard smash)
It was the mash! (It caught on in a flash)
it was the mash - it was potato mash!

From my outlook in fo'castle east,
to the galley where on spuds we feast,
The taters rained down and the gravy fell
And we had taters here as well:

[CHORUS]

Ta'leus Shieldsong
05/Apr/2016, 01:13 AM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%202%20blue%202%20a_zps9ldisypo.jpg
Gilhend - Spud

The battle continued to rage on, with both sides completely trying to annihitate each other. Their foes were mighty and many, and the wounded were too great to count. Well, wounded might not have been the right word. More like deliciously smothered in creamy, buttery potatoes. Or uttaterly bruised by hard rootlike potatoes. Either way, there were injuries all over both sides. Even Gilhend hadn't emerged unscathed. At first he thought he had been hit in the head by a rock, so hard was the object that struck him. It turned out it wasn't a rock, but a potato that had been so tremendously burnt that it looked like a lump of coal. Cursing their enemies and putting a fresh potato patch on his head to stop the gravy flow, he valiantly continued to fire his potatoes at the sons of dogs across the bay!

"Curse you all! I'll give you a thousand goulashes you fiends! I'll twice-bake your heads! You're all a bunch of ungratinful little babies. If we were on land my horse and I would scallop on over to you and whip your hide!" With that he gnocchi'd another potato into his sling and prepared for WAR.

Rivvy Elf
05/Apr/2016, 09:19 AM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20red%201%20a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Troll - Spud

The sight of a giant troll emerging from the interior of the ship with a giant pink metal parasol was a sight to see. At least for those who paid attention.

"ROAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!" he shouted, in greeting and annoyance, as the gravy and potatoes smashed into the giant pink metal parasol. The annoyance was that if not for the yellow demon in the sky, the gravy and potatoes could be resting in his large belly. Instead of being a rockstar spud, he was just a giant rocky Troll.

He used his large feet to stomp his way over to the front side of the ship.

"ROAAAARRRRRGGGGGH!" Troll shouted, wanting the gravy to be aimed directly into his mouth instead of colliding with his metal pink umbrella. If only it weren't so sunny out, he could eat his fill and spit out the rest towards the opposite boat!

Queen Nerwen
05/Apr/2016, 01:16 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20red%201%20a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Rank I: Sprout

Spudding along

Nerwen attempted to yell a reply at Troll. But unsurprisingly, she just ended up with a mashed face. The troll was stomping around, creating potato crinkles and the dwarfette fought to steady herself. The wizard Starbreeze was busy screaming some very very offensive things to the opposition, peel "We're going to whip you so much we'll have to peel you off the boat!" Nerwen shouted in the direction of the blue team. She started to mix potato and gravy together into large balls to bomb the happy spud team with. This battle would end in tuberific joy for us and potato rot for them!

Pele Alarion
05/Apr/2016, 03:14 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%202%20blue%202%20a_zps9ldisypo.jpg

Aidan - Spud

Soon he came up above the waves sputtering and found that luckily his mishap had been noted by friendly forces. Off he swam to grab that tato-rope to get himself back onboard. But, alas! The potatoes in his pockets were heavy, and as he pulled himself out of the water, his trousers came down and were lost in the depths, revealing his white undies with pink potatoes on 'em. No matter the loss of trousers and precious ammo, he was safe at least.

Yet, as soon as Aidan stepped on the deck again, he found it was slippery with mashed potatoes and gravy. Thus he dived in it to make his way to the nearest heap of taters to get something to toss at those loud-mouthed opponents. He ended up ramming into the heap of potatoes with such force that some of these flew all the way to the nearest ship of the enemy.

"Tater rain!" he called out laughing. "Beware all friendly souls!"

Morwen Daegomir
05/Apr/2016, 08:39 PM
Round IV will be a special insalt to injury round.
Many bonus potato points will be rained down upon you for the wildest of insults!
HAVE AT YE, SCURVY TATERS!

Potato Points Update!



Fairy Nuff
(+ 1 extra D6 for rank IV and above)
Post 1: 10 (+12 insane bonus pun points) [22]
Post 2: 6 (+9 wild bonus potato pun points) [15]
Total this round: 37

Sil
Post 1: 9 (+8 bonus pun points) [17]
Post 2: 4 (+2 bonus pun points, +3 for a smashing rendition) [9]


Total this round: 26

Queen Nerwen
Post 1: 8 (+2 bonus potato pun points, +1 for being a baked dwarfie) [11]
Post 2: 4 (+6 bonus potato pun points, +2 for adding insalt to injury!) [12]
Total this round: 23

Ta'leus Shieldsong
Post 1: 10 (+2 bonus pun points, +2 for a little holiday hash) [14]
Post 2: 4 (+9 crazy bonus potato pun points, +2 for adding insalt to injury!) [15]
Total for this round: 29

Rivvy Trollf
Post 1: 8 (+1 bonus potato pun point, +2 being a troll with an umbrella/hunger/potato conundrum) [11]
Total for this round: 11



Pele
Post 1: 6 (+1 bonus potato pun points, +5 losing your pants to potatoey depths to reveal potato themed undies :lol:) [12]
Total this round: 12




ROUND IV
BEGINS NOW!

Queen Nerwen
05/Apr/2016, 10:57 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%202%20red%202%20a_zpss4pge78s.jpg
Ner-spud
Chip-tastic War fare

The spud cannon balls were going down a treat. Well not for the enemy, more like a solid dose of carbohydrate, but she didn't care about that. In a complete fit of frustration brought on by lumpy mash, Nerwen stood in the prow of the Red Boat and treated the unsuspecting blues to some solid, trash talk, "Now listen here you mouldy bunch of tubers. Go back to the rotting soil from whence you came. Your mother was a mole and your father smelt of radishes. Potato growers all around are ashamed to have you even near their produce and you bring blight to everything. We shall peel you from this merry battle and turn you into dauphinoise. We will boil you until you come apart in little white flakes so yo spud mother won't even recognise you. Your aim is so poor, none of you could a chip from inside the frier!" She took a deep breath and hurled some baked potatoes in a spare, insalt free moment.

Fairy Nuff
06/Apr/2016, 12:09 AM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20520red205_zpshq819cye.jpg
Starbreeze - Bacon Cheddar of a Good Time

Starbreeze was able to snap herself out of her crazed state long enough to realise that she and Regdush had now been joined by two spudtacular team mates (Ner-spud and Troll-Spud, did she hear their names correctly, or was she just pudding* potatoes into everything now?). Chest heaving, hair crinkle-cut and robes covered in the tortured flesh of a hundred innocent potatoes, she was a fine mess. She took a moment to lick a glob of gravy from her chin, and then one from the chip on her shoulder, before sending the catapults frying one more time.

"You're all Jersey Royal pains in my backsides" she yelled into the air. She wasn't even sure who she was shouting at any more. "I made a huge misteak-cut coming here - I never realised stup-spud-ity was catching! I can sea* none of you are seasoned warriors, you can't handle a true fryght." She couldn't help but feel she'd used her best insalts up for the last round of mash bombs, something was definitely lacking this time. She wasn't really peeling it.

As she watched the fluffy mash soar overhead she suddenly realised that the only ones getting hurt in all this were the potatoes (yes, you called it, she has lost the plot) "Oh the stup-spud-ity of it all!" she cried angrily, slamming her fist down upon the capstan. "Idaho why you all can't see it too, but as we fight amongst ourselves we are denying the potatoes their frydom!" She cried, breaking down in tears and running the broken bodies of the tater warriors through her fingers.

Sil
06/Apr/2016, 02:31 PM
http://www.lotrplaza.com/webkit-fake-url://eb51585b-346a-4712-b321-96c4d9e3d501/imagejpeg

Silarien, a Happy Bowl of Mashed Potatelf

Silarien was stuberified at some of the outaterageous language coming out of the mouths of these people. They must be deeply rooted in iniquity, thought Silarien. Well it was time to meet fire with fire - Silarien loved a good roast and the only way to insult properly and with real style had been laid down by the great potatoet Shakespud - iambic pentameter.

"Away with thee, thou rotten-rooted fool!
Thy tubers? More like tumours, seems to me,
But either called more handsome than thy face.
I bite my thumb at thee and name thee knave:
Not fit to peel the jacket from a spud
But it would bid thee get beneath the earth,
to sleep in scurvy silence with the sprouts
And trouble not the big potatoes here.

What's more, thy preparations are in vain.
Thy mash hath all the qualities despised;
In butter lacking, dry, throat-choking stuff
that Gollum might have used to gargle with
in order to produce his coughing tones.
Thy roasts are soggy, and they're flavourless.
Hast thou not heard of garlic, gravy, salt?
An Orc would choose his maggot-growing bread
above thy fare. So scrape thy skins, be gone!

Thy tasteless nonsense is a meagre fare:
Come back when you are seasoned, if you dare!

Tarawen
06/Apr/2016, 03:29 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%203%20red%203_zpskn2ed7rm.jpg
Regdush - Baked Potato

He had steered his ship too far - he'd missed the enemy completely and was heading straight for Starbreeze's ship. As he glided past, he caught a glimpse of a couple other red-outlined spuds - a Troll and a Ner-spud. "Butterball up the sails!" he cried to no one in particular. "We've gotta put a stop to 'er 'afore she crashes!" He did all he could to quickly draw in the sails and steered the ship so that it turned away from the other red ship and instead sidled up next to it. He could hear wails of dismay from the wizardess on the other ship and a blue-outlined poet (Silarien) proclaiming insults.

"Oy! You! Yes, you, you spud-tacularly bad poet! Why aren't ye wearin' a ruffled collar an' tights, ya ninny? Or better yet, a dress! HAR!" he bellowed, giving a shout of laughter at the end of this speech. He then turned towards the youth (Aiden) who had just scrambled back onto a blue ship. "Ya got some starch on that ship, lad? Cause ya need it for them saggy drawers!! AHAHAHAHA!"

Regdush was lost to a tubermult of insults now. "You lot can't follow orders cause you've got earwax the size of potatoes in yer heads!" And all of a sudden, it was as if Reg had developed a silly french fried accent. "You do not frighten me, silly blue fleet pig-dogs! Go and boil your taters, ya sons of a silly spud! I blow my overlarge an' runnin' nose at you! You do not frighten the great red pontiac armada with your silly bees-knees running around advancing behavior! I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!"

Sil
06/Apr/2016, 11:30 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%204%20blue%204_zpspoaozdnb.jpg

Silarien, the mashed potatoet

"I -am- wearing a dress," Silarien roared back at Regdush, "and my ruffled collar and drawers are none of your business! Baked by name and nature you are: you certainly don't have any eyes!"

In fairness Regdush would have needed not only eyes but possibly a telescope and an angled mirror and absolutely no sense of decorum to realise that Silarien was wearing ruffled drawers but at any rate she was highly irritatered.

"How completely skinsensitive of him," she huffed indignantly. His eyes were clearly old and bented. "Get thee to a shrubbery, you dirt-mouthed, unscrubbed cabbage eater! You're no true Spud but some sort of impostater - you relative to a cucumber!"

It was a fair observation as although Regdush was not green, he was faintly knobbly looking and was probably also partially composed of water.

Fairy Nuff
06/Apr/2016, 11:52 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20620red206_zpsarpjozpw.jpg
Starbreeze - Crispy

As she wept into the mash she looked up to see Regdush's ship veering for her. Her heart was in her mouth as she imagined the terrible crash, but was relieved when the other ship spuddered to a halt alongside hers. This allowed her to hear more clearly the exchange of insults that was taking place. "Oh dear, this is all just a Vichyssoise cycle" she moaned. But she felt she must spudport her fellow red ship captain, as they had formed a sort of friendchip. She stood up, rather unsteadily after stepping on her robe which was now a bit crispy, to yell at Silarien "Your exercise regime leaves much to be desired! You're nothing but a couch potato!"

Tarawen
07/Apr/2016, 12:06 AM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%203%20red%203_zpskn2ed7rm.jpg
Regdush - Baked Potato

He cupped his hands around his ears in mockery of the once-happy little elf-maid. "If I had a horseI'd scallop 'er closer to ya!" he cried. "For I simply can't hear none o' what you're shoutin, you ruffley little piper!" Forgetting that he'd just stated clearly that he didn't hear what Silarien had said, he continued on with a snarl, "I'll eat all the cabbage I like, ye little flighty fool! I'd still pancake you in no time flat*! You'd be awash in a potato soup of your own makin' when I was through with you!" Reg then put his right thumb to his nose and waved his fingers around in the air.

The sound of Starbreeze shouting insults at the elf-maid too in unison with Reg was like orcish music to his ears, though. "Ahoy, Starbreeze! I'm mighty gratin-ful for yer support in this here war o' words!" He had to admit that he'd thought the wizardess a bit aloof previously, but this solidarity confirmed their odd alliance.

Rivvy Elf
07/Apr/2016, 02:09 AM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%201%20red%201%20a_zpsewcesy1x.jpg
Troll - Spud of Sprouts

"RAUGH ROAR ROAGHR POTA TOAAAHHH" Troll bellowed in trollish at Silarien, underneath his metal pink parasol, and then promptly spitting out a potato-sized wad of spit at the frolicking tasty-looking elf.

"TARGGGHHH TERROAAAAH YEAHUUUU GLYEEHH CERAAAAOLLLL!" the original troll yelled at Aidan, blowing a potato-raspberry with his chip-yellow tongue.

"ROOOOOAAAAARRR!" screamed Troll, as his stomach began audibly rumbling, like the grinding of two giant spud-sized mountains

Tarawen
07/Apr/2016, 02:44 AM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%204%20red%204_zpsk4xgfwbc.jpg
Regdush - Mashed Potato!

Reg was suddenly distracted by the great Troll on the other red potato chip. He took the break in the insult slinging action to unsheath his dagger and poke about between his teeth. A good orc kept his teeth clean to keep 'em sharp at all times.

He listened carefully as the Troll roared and bellowed. "If I didn' know any better, I'd say he was tryin' to tell us somethin'! Somethin' dead useful that'd make the enemy afried to even look at us." Perplexed, Regdush shrugged his great shoulders beneath his rather lumpy armor--he'd taken quite a splattering of the mashed potatoes that had been fired by the enemy--and turned back to face the blue fleet.

"Come at us and get a taste of our services! We'll chip your teeth and peel your eyes from their sockets! We'll bake your skins in the fires of Mount Doom and butter 'em till they shine! Anya know what else?!" At this, he lifted his great curved sword in a show of power. "We'll do it all FER FREE!"

Sil
07/Apr/2016, 01:36 PM
http://www.lotrplaza.com/webkit-fake-url://628cc2b1-fac3-4665-99d7-ff65480c7a20/imagejpeg

Silarien, the happy bacon cheddar potato

A couch potato!? What a spudderly ridiculous thing to say! Silarien kept in shape - the proper shape for a potato elf. What was wrong with being a bit lumpy and covered in earth? This was exactly the kind of prejudice she should have expected from these ridiculous third rate fryrate pirates.

"I'll make you bubble and squeak you feeble radishes - you'll be so Frytened that your hearts will turn to butter!

I'll take such a clapshot at you from my colcannon that you will be devastatered!

I'll slash you into hash and then fritter you!"

She growled fiercely, gnashing her teeth as though she were chomping down on a particularly poorly boiled new potato.

Pele Alarion
07/Apr/2016, 02:33 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%203%20blue%203_zpstvfjuhjb.jpg
Aidan - Baked potato

He had never heard that many insults aimed at himself, nor even at a group of people that were to be called his team. Getting up on his feet with a handful of mashed potatoes and gravy, he tried to formed them into something of a ball and hurled it at the nearest red-team member at hand.

"You bunch of squished-tuber-nosed knaves, tater-sacks and driggle-draggles!" he couldn't resist trying to throw some insults of his own at the red team along with the potatoes. "Your hair is nothing like well-tended potato stems with leaves but rather a bunch of withered cabbage leaves trampled on by a flock of geese! The smell of your breath is tater-ocious, so you better stay away!"

Having run out of things to say, he stuck out his tongue at the folk in the red ships, made some silly faces, and threw some more taters their way. For a good measure he lowered his tater-undies and mooned them with his well-tanned butt cheeks, yet only for a fleeting moment. He guessed such a gesture would cause a barrage of squished-smashed-boiled taters to be thrown his way.

Tarawen
07/Apr/2016, 03:43 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%204%20red%204_zpsk4xgfwbc.jpg
Regdush - Mashed Potato!

"Devastatered?" he roared back at Silarien, the elf whose spudly face he'd like to smash in. "Unlikely! You'll not chip away at our courage with such slights! You'll leek yer saltiest tears into the sea after we've scalloped yer heads!"

Reg retreated to the pile of taters on his ship's deck and, with one arm dragging a sack of them to the cannon and one arm still brandishing his sword about, he cried at the youth (Aiden), "Gno-kid is gonna defeat me!" He ducked to avoid some particularly well-aimed taters that came hurtling his way, then stuffed the tuber of his spudly cannon (also Ron Weasley's favorite potato quidditch team) with taters. He fired once, twice, and three times at the blue ships. "Eat THAT! Annnnd that!" he cried, watching the spuds fly. He capered about on deck, singing and laughing madly on the spot as he did so.

"Yo ho, yo ho, a tater’s life for me.
We skin ‘em, we bake ‘em, we fry em to boot!
Eat up me 'earties, yo ho.
We boil ‘em and mash ‘em and don't give a hoot.
Eat up me 'earties, yo ho!"

Queen Nerwen
07/Apr/2016, 03:54 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%203%20red%203_zpskn2ed7rm.jpg
Nerwen - Baked Potato

The power of the troll was immashible to comprehend. Ner-spud watched him with eyes like plates. He was a MASH-ine!! "Bah" she flung two baked spuds in the direction of the enemy "Taters gonna tate" she snapped in disgust. "You ain't appeeling and we're gona grill ya til you're crispy and burnt!" The spudette knew they were going to win. They had to win, they were the REDS! Blue potatoes were no good, blue potatoes were mouldy. Red potatoes were actually a produce, they existed! "You are not grate, you are not mighty! And you will be shredded. I am mightly feta upped with your silly idea of war" She smashed more and more squidgy potato into the canons and aimed for the blue potato skin boat.

Fairy Nuff
07/Apr/2016, 07:28 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank20620red206_zpsarpjozpw.jpg
Starbreeze - Crisps

Starbreeze stood on the deck, which was littered with bits of potato, and angrily shook her fist at the blue chips. In reality she was having a smashing time, but she colcannot let the enemy know that - in fact the only downside to this battle so far was that her robes . She heartily approved of Regdush's promised threats, and was rooting for the troll, whatever he was saying.

Just as she was fingerlinging a new round of potatoes at the opposing frygates she heard Regdush break into song. Giving him an odd look (this seemed strangely familiar) Starbreeze waited until he had finished, then launched into a song of her own.

Tater,
Everybodys been talking bout how creamy is your mash
I told them that you're even better as a hash,
That I don't want us here to clash
So what are you?
Spud, you're talking like a hot (Hot!)
Hot potato
If you don't stop messing around
Spud you're talking like a hot (Hot!)
Hot potato
You know that I will always cook you right
For you, I will cook all night
Slicing, not mashing
No tater, now wasn't that fair


Spud you're talking like a hot (Hot!)
Like a hot-
Hot potato
If you don't stop messing around
Spud you're talking like a hot (Hot!)
(Tater)
Hot potato
(Hot Potato - La Toya Jackson)

Tarawen
07/Apr/2016, 07:43 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%204%20red%204_zpsk4xgfwbc.jpg
Regdush - Mashed Potato!

"We'll beat all you rascals and scoundrels and thugs,
Eat up, me 'earties, yo ho!
We're twice-baked and boiling and really bad spuds!
Eat up, me 'earties, yo ho!"

Regdush finished his song with a swipe of his sword through the air. It seemed Starbreeze, too, had cut in with a song of her own.

"The Atlantic Spudsea ain't wide enough to keep us from pomme de terre-orizing the likes of you!" He rushed back to the helm of his ship and began to spin her around to more properly face the blue fleet. He meant to face them eye to eye in an epic battle. "Ay, espero que papas enormes caigan del cielo y les aplastan!" He cried as he raised his sails once more. It was as if he'd been possessed and was speaking in tongues...

Queen Nerwen
07/Apr/2016, 10:55 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%203%20red%203_zpskn2ed7rm.jpg
Nerwen - Baked Potato

Apparently trashy war songs were the thing to do doing right now. With a handful of mash, patriotically held aloft, Spud-wen broke into a high pitched song,

We're mashing together
But still it's fry-light
And maybe we'll flip back
To chips, who can tell?
I guess there is no spud to blame
We're in the ground (in the ground)
Will potatoes be the same again?

It's the final spud war
The final spud war
Ohh!

We're heading for roasties (roasties)
And still we stand baked
Cause maybe we've cooked you
And peeled you all yeah!
With so many tubers to go
And wedges to be scoffed (to be scoffed)
I'm sure that we won't miss the blues!

It's the final spud war
The final spud war
Ohh!

"Now go back to the compost heap where you belong!" she yelled, flinging the handful of mash in their general direction.

Sil
08/Apr/2016, 12:53 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%206%20blue%206_zps7uneldoe.jpg

Crispy Sil

The end was in sight.
Pity yo mama so stupid she mistook a hedgehog for a Hasselback
Open your mouth and I'll stuff it full of tater to make you shut up
There ain't no brains in your head, just mashed potato (not even with butter)
All of your relatives think you so ugly they replaced you with a rotted spud in pics
Tubers could beat you in a thinking contest even when they're fried
On a scale of 1-10 your spudgliness is off the scale

Fairy Nuff
08/Apr/2016, 10:43 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank2082020red_zpstsojy4fx.jpg
Starbreeze - not sure if Fry, or just fried

Unsatisfried with the way the insults had diversifried into song so much, and feeling a little vilifried after the barrage of insults from the blue chips, Starbreeze sat down wistfully on the deck of her ship, making a mash of her robes and looking a right old stater with her Russet cheeks and crinkly hair, and sadly said a little poem of remembrance for the fallen potatoes.

Taters have grown
Rotten destiny
Vegetable warfare

Tarawen
08/Apr/2016, 10:56 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%205%20red%205_zpshq819cye.jpg
Regdush - Bacon Cheddorc Potato

"Ahoy! Starbreeze! Get up and join the fight!" Regdush cried as he steered head-on for the blue fleet. "Man yer colcannons! Raise yer sails! We fight for the frydom of the red fleet! Do not fritter away yer precious tater puns and justifriable hatred of the blue spuds on short verse! You gnocchi what's at steak!"

Reg then ran madly to his own spudly cannons to fire away at the opposition while the ship continued on its windblown course...

Morwen Daegomir
08/Apr/2016, 11:45 PM
Round V is your final chance to rack up some tater points!
The ships have slammed into eachother, and you now have access to the enemy's deck!
TAKE THEM ALL DOWN!

Potato Points Update!



Queen Nerwen
Post 1: 5 (+7 bonus insalt to injury points) [12]
Post 2: 4 (+12 bonus potato pun points +4 bonus insalt points) [20]
Post 3: 4 (+5 song points +2 insalt points) [11]
Total this round: 33

Fairy Nuff
(+1 extra D6 for rank IV and above)
Post 1: 6 (+ 12 bonus potato pun points +5 bonus insalt points) [18]
Post 2: 4 (+6 bonus potato points +2 bonus insalt points) [12]
Post 3: 5 (+4 bonus potato pun points, +4 song!) [13]
Post 4: 4 (+6 bonus potato pun points +4 potato haiku!) [14]
Total this round: 57

Sil
(+1 extra D6 for rank IV and above)Post 1: 6 (+6 bonus potato pun points, +5 bonus insalt points + 10 bonus points for a magnificent sonnet) [27]
Post 2: 6 (+5 bonus pun points, + 5 insalt points -- Hamlet reference!) [16]
Post 3: 4 (+6 bonus potato pun points +4 bonus insalt points) [14]
Post 4: 4 (+6 bonus potato pun points +6 for some great insalting... and a yo mama joke) [16]
Total this round: 73

Tarawen
(+1 extra D6 for rank IV and above)Post 1: 7 (+ 10 bonus potato pun points, +10 bonus insalt points--- bahahaha so much Monty Python) [20]
Post 2: 4 (+5 bonus potato puns +4 bonus insalt points) [13]
Post 3: 4 (+9 bonus potato pun points +4 bonus insalt points) [17]
Post 4: 5 (+8 potato pun points, +2 for HP reference -- hehe Ron, +4 for a piratey song!) [19]
Post 5: 4 (+4 bonus potato pun points, +3 cross-lingual puns! +4 insalt points) [15]
Post 6: 3 (+5 potato pun points) [8]
Total this round: 92

Rivvy Trollf
Post 1: 5 (+ 3 bonus potato pun point, +3 incomprehensible troll insalt points) [11]
Total for this round: 11

Pele
Post 1: 4 (+3 bonus potato pun points +4 bonus insalt points) [11]
Total this round: 11





ROUND V
BEGINS NOW!

It will close tomorrow, so get your last posts in!

Sil
08/Apr/2016, 11:49 PM
http://i1382.photobucket.com/albums/ah260/kimlisimply/rank%206%20blue%206_zps7uneldoe.jpg

Crispy Sil

There could only be one outcome. This was the fight for Frydom, after all, which Starbreeze had already achieved with her magical transformation into Fry. "Hail, sweet prince!" Silarien saluted him. However disspudpointing it was to realise some other spud had reached those lofty heights it was an achievement to be Congratulatatered

Silarien was not one to simply give up though even when the end was near and the potatoems were being recitatered for the fallen (and the dug up). Even as they rested in their gravy they would not be forgotten. Still there was time for a final insultater or two...
"You could enter all your potatoes at the fair, and you'd win the prize for biggest squash," she shouted defiantly. "You're such a vampire, you'd try to feed your potatoes with vodka! You only hang out with potatoes so you look like the cleverest one, and it's not working! When someone asks you for a baked potato you run for the nearest sun-bed! When someone asks you for a roasted potato you tell the nearest potato that it smells funny!"

Fairy Nuff
09/Apr/2016, 12:26 PM
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e275/heartfelt_icons/Plaza/rank2082020red_zpstsojy4fx.jpg
Starbreeze - Not sure if Fry or just fried

Starbreeze was roused from her reverie by Regdush's encouraging Remarka, and, not wishing to make the misteak-cut of missing the finale of the battle, she crinkle-cut a Swift figure as she propelled herself from the floor and ran to pull in the main-crop-sail. Regdush was on collision course for the blue potato-chips and now, so was she. She watched with Golden Wonder as the ships drew close then mashed together, pieces of timber soaring into the Cosmos. She would see this Majestic battle through with Valor to Arran Victory.

"Regdush!" she called across the deck, their ships so close now she could have walked over to him. "Wilja join me one more time in the ancient potato battle song of the potato forefathers? We're missing the Maris Pipers for accompaniment, and I might just have to Maris Peer at the words, but even without the traditional Accent, we can make this Yukon Gold, just as long as we don't make a hash of it."

Wedging herself between two colcannons, and feeling a little hot potato from the collision (the skin on her face was still Russet red from her earlier exertions) she started to sing the song of the ancient potato tribes:

One potato, two potato,
Three potato, four.

Five potato, six potato
Seven potato, More!

Clearly the ancient potato King Edward had not been able to count above seven.

The sun was beating down on the wreckage of the ships now, and Starbreeze was feeling quite baked in her jacket. As she roasted in her full wizard outfit, her eyes become more protuberant by the minute...wait, was she turning into Fry, or was she just petrifried?.

Their ships now upon each other, the wizard was somewhat surprised to see Silarien salute her. "I yam flattered by your words, elf, but I notice also that your face is changing. I fear the battle is not over yet." And so it was, as the elf continued to hurl insults her way. "We will finish this tater, if you Desiree", she called "But the root of your change in appearance has seen you rise in my Estimation."

As she stood by the colcannons and had nothing better to do she untethered the heavy machines and let them carelessly roll onto the deck of the blue potato chip alongside hers, watching them smash into the deck and plummet through the wood as if it was paper, at the same time making her own ship more buoyant, so she would stay afloat longer.

Morwen Daegomir
09/Apr/2016, 09:00 PM
The Potato Armada is now CLOSED!

I will now be tallying up and adding final points to the potato piles...



Sil
Post 1: 8 (+5 bonus potato pun points) [13]
Total for final round: 12

Fairy Nuff
Post 1: 7 (+20 bonus potato pun points) [27]
Total for final round: 27


​Final scores will soon be updated in the main potato points thread, and the winner announced!